Year Three

The big “three” was on and popping. She got mad picky about food. Super Why? and Dinosaur Train were the shit. We tried child apps, but they worked too well and had to be stopped before spreading tentacles. She got Legos. Here’s a short excerpt of what I wrote when I first posted this video:

She already knows her ABC’s, shapes, colors and she can count to ten. She is at my waist and I think she’ll be taller than me.  I’ve definitely come to appreciate my parents in a way that I never anticipated. Pops did the best he could, but moms held it down like a champ. What keeps me going is asking myself, “Am I doing the best I can?” So far, I would say I’m trying, but I’ll never measure up to Ma Dukes. Haruki is doing that, while redefining my perception of motherhood altogether.

I may not be as evolved as her and Kantra, but as long as they’ll have me then I’ll keep waking up in the morning to try again, to take responsibility for my mistakes and not subject myself to the torture chamber of guilt.

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