Just wrote an article about raising my daughter, Kantra in Japan. It’s up here. Watching her has inspired me and its forced me and my wife to grow in unforeseeable ways. Nothing humbles you like a determined child who doesn’t give a single solitary fuck about what you doing, what you need to do, or what you was about to do. “Daddy, play with me.” Got an essay that’s getting published. Hopefully it’ll drop soon. Won’t say who yet, but …
Category: Haruki
He pegged me a tourist taking flicks.“What’s it like?”It’s like crouching under the atmosphere to keep from scorching your head. Earth’s glowing curvature is a celestial levee, a barrier to the darkness. The stars are neon streets and heavenly islands of light. They are as real as phantom pain firing from a severed limb. You stand still, afraid of stepping on the people below. You’re always in the way. Sometimes all you see is the white of clouds. Up there is …
It took having a child to realize that I had a temper. Thought I was cool. The most difficult thing that I’ve ever done was become a father. And I did it in one of the strangest places in the world. The pressure to model Japanese societal standards has the force of a car crusher. It’s a homogenous country that refused to talk to the world for 200 years. Spending a lot of time alone makes you weird, ask anybody …
Haruki and Kantra’s perception of me, govern my values. I’d be fooling myself to pretend like foreign judgments aren’t crowding my peripheral. My wife is working crazy hours. I feel helpless watching her go through this bulshit. We have to switch roles. It’s like I’m walking around with my balls in my back pocket. I’m in awe of her. Shorty’s a hustler, “We do what we can do,” she tells me. Like a drafted soldier doing more than she can, …
My sexual orientation is comfortable. I’ve gone to gay bars and have been eye-fucked by middle-aged white men. I’ve put dollar bills in the bras of transgender strippers. I fooled around with a boy when Mr. T was my role model. And the only thing that I learned from that encounter, was that it’d work a lot better with a girl. I don’t know if this is true and my scholarly source may further discredit my faulty knowledge, but on …
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